"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:38-39
This month has come with many steps of faith for me as God has continued to ordain my steps as I continue to follow Him one day at a time....clinging even stronger to the One who has "fashioned all my days...when yet there were none".
It has been a month of great remembrance and with each memory I am convinced that nothing can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. My prayer each day for myself and all God's people is that through all things, we would cling to His unfathomable promise that "..because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness" Lamentations 3:22-23.....that "Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith...that we, being rooted and established in love, may have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is....and to know this love that surpasses knowledge...that it may fill us to the measure of all the fullness of God...because He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:17-20
God's great love for us is not only relentless but His goodness and faithful love pursues us...and not only does His love pursue us...it pursues us all the days of our lives. "Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live" Psalm 23:6. If God's goodness and faithful love is pursuing us how I desire for Him to overtake me so I can have the confident relationship with God that the writer of this Psalm did. To know we will dwell with the Lord forever produces such a peace in our hearts and a confidence in Him. As the Lord loves and pursues me, He desires to overtake my whole heart and my whole heart must be involved in the pursuit of my relationship with Him. So, with each new day, my first devotion is to give Him my all; despite my suffering, feelings or opinions because the will of God alone is love. Love suffers and love is sacrifice. It gives me great comfort to know that I am not at the mercy of anything or anyone when those unexpected uncertainties come... but instead we can have peace and confidence knowing we are "held in the everlasting arms" as we accept all that He allows. It is our faith that presses forward even when we do not like or understand what God is doing....and we can be sure that regardless; God is in control...and He is the blessed controller of all things.
Last March we "marched on" and enjoyed our grandsons championship basketball game win and that day we attended a memorial service for a dear family in our church body as their loved one went home with the Lord as many gathered and remembered his life and legacy...this was a time filled with many emotions. Last March we then received a clear MRI as many faithful saints continued in prayer and praise. There where many emotions filling my heart and in March Randy felt the Lord leading us to pack our house and sell it...and through this time my trust and obedience to the Lord came with accepting each and every request Randy was asking of me as He sought God's will. This came with much surrender and trust...believing again that the 'will of God is love'.....and that our burdens are a gift from God (the word burden is the same as the word gift in Hebrew) and this I know is a great mystery of God and I knew that as I cast my burdens onto the Lord He promises to sustain me. The acceptance of all He was asking was an act of my will...to know God is in control...and that was the key to my peace. We truly walked 'doing the next thing' as Randy walked...each and every day...resigning himself to the will of God. He knew that 'Gods grace is sufficient' for He gives us what He knows we can handle....as he continued to pray too for Gods will believing always in the ability He knew God had to remove this affliction...if that was His plan.
I realize each day more and more that I have nothing more to offer to God than my trust and obedience to Him. There is a great Word in the Bible about this...a lesson for us all. The Lord showed me Ezekiel 24 last year as sorrow was entering my heart as I was caring for him and watching the side effects of cancer progress as I offered my feelings to the Lord desiring to stay strong. I can honestly say that Randy was stronger than me during this time but the Lord gave me strength and I desired to give more of my heart to God each day...trusting and obeying...so I could walk in Gods peace and be all I wanted to be for my husband.
Nothing is ever wasted with God and I remember hearing long ago that "we can make a pulpit" out of every circumstance we are in. God always has reminded me of this and that our trials and afflictions God turns into a witness for the eternal. All He will use, to encourage people to believe in the Lord! So in Ezekiel we read of how God enabled Ezekiel to give his sorrow back to God...to get up and do whatGod was commanding of him next during his time of sorrow. This Word would not only be important for Ezekiel but for all the people. His wife had died and God instructed him "to not cover his lips and not to eat man's bread of sorrow" (vs 17). The Lord was teaching that although mourning is necessary, we as believers do not sorrow as those who have no hope. We are blessed in that we need not fade away and lose all strength under our afflictions because we have a God who heals our broken hearts and hears all our prayers and He answers. Ezekiel replied, "So I spoke to the people in the morning, and at evening my wife died; and the next morning I did what God commanded" (vs 18). This was obedience, to get up and do what God commanded to do next. This is what my husband taught me and what the Lord showed me in the scriptures and this is what I live by today.
Ezekiel 24:27 goes on to read "On that day your mouth your mouth shall be opened...you shall speak...and no longer be mute...you will be a sign to them, and they shall know that I am God" This is beautiful...this is our testimony and our witness...and this is how our sorrow and suffering is never for nothing. If we get up and do what God is asking next through His Word then there is great purpose, He blesses our obedience, and we are used as a witness to bring life to the world. God wants to make us into 'broken bread and poured out wine" for the life of others.
This Word in Ezekiel God reminded me again during this month and during my trip to South Florida. My trip has brought incredible memories of our life together. Being in S. Fl. has brought flashbacks of all God has done the last 20 years in Virginia. God took two sinners and saved us by His grace. I was blessed to visit the place we first met at Ft Lauderdale Yankee Stadium, and revisited the locker room where Randy was saved and the stadium seat I sat in. I was able to visit our first home where we began our family. I visited our first church and many other places that God began to build our lives in Christ.
Our family then was invited to the University of Miami where Randy attended. We celebrated his baseball accomplishments in the Hall of Fame, were invited to a dinner and a game. We were able to meet many who knew Randy. Our family went to FCA/Fellowship of Christian Athletes on Wednesday evening...and worshipped with many of the athletes and coaches. The chaplain, Michael, and his wife Melanie, shared with us how they attended CCFTLauderdale and grew in faith there. We shared Randys testimony, and our grandson had the privilege to open the service in prayer. They received us with the love of Christ and gave us Bibles and t-shirts, which blessed our grandchildren greatly. Our time concluded with communion. This was so special because they had never served communion there before and this was always such an important part of Sunday worship for Randy and God ordained this time to partake of it at the university and with all his family. Our grandchildren were able to see his accomplishments but even more so they were able to worship the Lord there and be reminded of his life in Christ and share his life in Christ with many. This time was exactly what Randy would of wanted and I could of never had planned a more glorious experience for our family...God ordained each moment, each day...and to Him I testify and give Him all the glory!
The closing of our time in Miami we received a package from a staff member who was instrumental in coordinating much of this time. He gave us a book for our grandchildren by Max Lucado and a card and in it he wrote of Gods continuing purposes in each of our lives. He wrote of a caterpillar that turned into a butterfly...to describe our transformation in Christ that takes place in each of our lives. This was so special and prophetic to me because I have shared with so many how God had showed me that in the quietness of my heart and in the stillness of my soul the last several months of a picture of a caterpillar....and as I have waited on the Lord...God had showed me His timing as He had began to then how me a butterfly. A transformation being taken place in waiting....a strengthening of heart...a work that God was and is doing in my heart by faith...that was not seen but God was at work in the deepest of places. A picture of this butterfly is what we become when we wait on God in the stillness of our heart...as God is preparing us for His purposes as our lives our being transformed continually. Through our brokenness God transforms us for His glory. Like the story of Jesus at the Mount of transfiguration...another beautiful lesson for us all...His suffering brought glory!
God has given me Isaiah 58:10-11 in the next steps of this transforming grace..."If you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness, and your darkness shall like the noonday. The LORD will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones" As we pour ourselves out for others we receive our own needs being satisfied. This continues to be my heart and the heart of our family.
Randy wanted to be remembered as a man who loved the Lord and who served the Lord with all his heart. In all things he wanted God to be given all the glory that was due to Him. He was a quiet man as he delighted in hearing the heart and God stories of others...and always wanted the spotlight to be shining on God. I think of Moses and his life as written in Hebrews 11...a life surrendered to God and being lived for God rather than the passing pleasures of sin ".....by faith Moses when he had grown up...refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin...esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward"
Our time of worship was instrumental and I thank many of you for your prayers for us...as I did not know what to expect and revisiting many places would be hard..but Gods grace blessed each step of faith. Our time of worship remined us of all that was necessary to strengthen our hearts. It was a time of remembrance, so beautiful as this trip was filled with memories for us all. As we took of the cup and bread...we were reminded of the most important thing, of Christ's love and suffering and forgiveness of our sins at the Cross. Reminding us too of Randy's love for God and his service to Him...and reminding us that whatever is in our cup that God is offering to us..in pain, sorrow and in our suffering...along with the many many blessings, we are willing to take it all and believe because we trust the Lord.
God truly pursues us all the days of our lives and His love for us is relentless. I testify of His goodness as together we shared twenty years mostly in Florida and twenty years in Virginia.
God transformed our lives and He continued as we pursued Him....and in doing so He blessed our lives and did so much more than we could of ever asked or think. God's great love for all mankind is shown in His sending Jesus to carry our sins, griefs and sufferings on the cross. He loves us so much and He walked the path of suffering for us all. Love and suffering are synonymous and it is in our deepest suffering that we learn the deepest lessons about God and His love for us. "There is, in fact, no redemptive work done anywhere without suffering"
".....because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.…Great is Thy faithfulness! Lamentation 3:22, 23b
Michelle A. Guerra
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