"If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me", and the light about me be night; Even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You." Psalm 139:9-12
As I drove along the country roads a few days ago I was praying and thinking of this week last year and of Randy and the 10 months God gave me with him as I came by his side and the greatest time God gave us together. In the pain a sweetness came to my heart as the Lord reminded me of His resplendent glory and of His holiness...I was reminded of Gods perspective and the salvation He gives and I was reminded of Heaven and where Randy now lives...and that Heaven is the dwelling place of God, and of the Lord Jesus Christ and how Randy is now in God’s presence. I looked up and seen this beautiful sky and later read Psalm 139:9-12, God reminding me again of His glory as vast as the spreading of light that fills the morning sky from the east to the west and even the light cannot outrun the presence and knowledge of our God. Even there when pain is pressing down upon our hearts and even through death and the grave, yes, even there God's hand shall lead us, love us and care for us. His constant presence is with us. Nothing can separate us from Him as even God's right hand holds us no matter what may come in our life.
Darkness shall not cover me as troubles try to illuminate themselves before our eyes and even the night shall be light about me when fear tries to come and hide the face of God and try to make us believe that God is no longer there nor to be found nor is He working in our lives and these lies therefore try to tell us that the nights darkness overshadow any light of day....but dark shadows and the glorious light are the same with God, they are one from His perspective as David writes as he was confident of God’s constant presence with him being like a constant light even in the darkness...yes, even in the darkness and in our midnights...in our times when things are not as we think they should be...when troubles come...we have a Living God who is not bound by time or distance and nothing is hidden from Him. The scriptures promise us that EVEN THERE is where can find our God. As the pillar of cloud illuminated the Israelites as they journeyed in the wilderness in Exodus 13:21 so is God’s presence in our life shining the night as the day.
My God who still lights darkness and leads my way does not only want to help me, He wants me.
He wants me to walk with the Word and He wants to demonstrate His unending grace and all sufficient power in my weakness. He wants my will for His. Every opportunity that God gives to me to share our testimony and to share of the last year and a half and as my journey continues I know I can only share of a Holy God and of the holy times when God showed up in brilliant light shining into the darkness of the night. To share an application from a portion of this journey with others through this blog, Bible studies, meeting one on one or in the opportunities God gives to pray for someone as they share their own trials and afflictions I am once again as with all our sufferings in a place where God is transforming my pain so it cannot destroy through His transforming power that promises us that death is not the ending because death cannot win...even death must bow down before our God...our Risen King!
July 4th will be the one year anniversary of Randy's passing here on earth and his entering into Eternal glory. Time as brought some healing but only God brings true peace. His Word cannot fail and He promises that His Truth will always accomplish what He intends regardless of our earthly and flawed perspective at times....but the Truth of God's Word will lift our eyes and give us Gods perspective which is everlasting...resulting in God's perfect will for our lives.
Last year during this week ending June Randy was still reminding us all of the goodness of His God and the good He will do...and the thanks God deserved each day as he believed that we serve such a good goodFather and we are so undeserving of His love but because of His love and grace He came and He saved and he was more thankful in each passing day knowing that eternity was waiting.
Through the many prayers of the saints God sustained him for 10 months and he remained strong until the last two weeks...but spiritually he was stronger than ever. Through the many prayers prayed on his behalf he was able to see pictures of the ground breaking for the home he desired for me and he smiled and said Amen. He was so blessed in having the body of Christ at CCR come after church and pray and worship in song as we opened his bedroom window and he listened and clapped and said what a wonderful God we serve and how overwhelmed he was mentioning too how wonderful the body of Christ was and how much he loved them all. He was so blessed to have men come and gather around him and pray, telling them how much he loved them and how it was so wonderful seeing and believing all God was doing in them and in the church.
God tells us He hears the cries of His people and He sees, He knows and He remembers...and He will Deliver. 'Blessed are those poor in spirit for they will inherit the kingdom of God'. God's perspective is what we continually reminded ourselves as we first began walking with Christ, and as we began serving Him as Randy heard from the Lord and knew the calling he had upon his life. Gods perspective I continue to keep at the forefront of my mind today when my desire to understand begins to strive with my spirit...His perspective is needed and then viewed through His lens that allows me to see that when we live for Christ we live for an upside kingdom compared to the kingdom of this world. The kingdom of this world advances self and promotes pride and promotes man...but living for Gods kingdom means it is His kingdom we live for to advance...and we are always given a choice at each crossroads we face. Living for His kingdom means we are given a cross to carry for Jesus said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me for whoever wants to save their own life will loose it but whoever looses their own life for me will save it" Luke 9:24-25
In all our afflictions God's presence is illuminating our way and we are indestructible until our ministry on this earth is done and our appointed time comes for our ministry in heaven to now continue through all eternity. Until that appointed time, our afflictions God allows and He has told me through each one and especially through the greatest trial of my life so far through the Lord taking Randy home, not to waste my pain. This was something Randy had etched on his heart through every difficulty that came his way. God would always use all things for good...and this meant too for the good of others.
We were made to contain God and the brilliant of His light lives within us as believers. This light that shines even in the darkness...it is what the world needs and He has to get it out of us and into the people who need it...and in order to spread His light to a broken world He gives us afflictions as hard as that word is to say. As with Gideon when the light could not be seen until the pots were broken, for the light to be revealed, and it is through our trials His light is seen. God knows the value of brokenness and uses it all from his hand for His purposes...through the breaking Gods grace is spread. Affliction is for a moment and working its way for eternal purposes...this makes our affliction bearable...the hope of heaven.
God uses our brokenness...He uses broken vessels, broken ground, broken hearts..He knows the value of brokenness unlike what the world tells us...He said 'take this is My body, broken for you'.
God told me through His Word that "this sickness would not bring death but glory to God". The One who calls us to endure hardship always has a purpose and the place that seems unbearable God alone can transform. I am learning lessons as pain comes and I feel its pressure to use it as an opportunity to turn to the Master of my soul. To worship Him right in the middle of the pain regardless of how I feel because grief will bring God glory when it draws our heart to worship Him. To bring God glory also is done as I not only desire God to help me but even more....that I desire God to have my all and use my brokenness in the lives of others as I attempt to share with many of how God took the broken pieces of our lives as husband and wife and pieced our life back together again to form something so much better than before. And in this time He promises to do the same...Gods faithfulness throughout our lives is such a reminder to me of His faithfulness towards me today that gives me strength and courage to walk forward in Him.
I desire above all else that as I recall the past and relive the pain and the joy of walking with Randy through all he had to go through, what God called him to do, God would encourage you...that He is sufficient despite all. So many know Randy but how I long for many to know his story, our story, of what God wrought in the heart of a man fully committed to Him...the story of an amazing God who blesses each of our lives when we place our lives in His hands and how He uses our lives to feed the hurting hearts of others.
May God use our story as He supplies His grace to me to remind others of the hope Jesus gives...because "EVEN THERE" is where we find God. "EVEN THERE" is where His Presence is, where He moves, guides and lives...no matter where we find ourselves even in the uttermost part of the sea He is "EVEN THERE", for us and with us...and by the blood of Jesus Christ, in us.
May we live in light of eternity...to advance His kingdom with the hope He gives, the hope of Heaven...
Thank you Father, That no matter where we are or whatever we are going through...you are...even there.
"even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You" Psalm 139:12
Michelle A. Guerra
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