"For He performs what is appointed for me." Job 23:14
"The afflicted believer is not to conclude that all prayer and entreaty will be in vain, that he should sink in despair...he cannot tell but that the intention of God in afflicting him may be to produce penitence and prayer in his heart. May we learn to obey and trust the Lord, even in our tribulation; to live or die as He pleases"
God blessed me as a wife of 36 years. The time over the past 4 decades has been an amazing journey with the Lord and Randy. We were engaged in December of 1981, young and in love, thinking we knew so much but how little we really knew. Eventually we came to understand that our best was not God's best and that's when our life and marriage was transformed. Our life then became a school of learning, we were the students and God was our Tutor. This was my assignment from God.
Through our many years together he loved me, cared for me, and led me to Christ. As his relationship with God grew, so did his love for me. As he loved me I had to learn to love him as he needed. In February 1982 we made a vow to God and to one another. I had not yet become a Christian until a few years later but from beginning of my life with him until the very end, one thing I was certain of, God loved us, He loved marriage and God would never give up on us and that meant we could never give up our hope in God. This meant He would never fail us. Despite the many setbacks life brings, the hard times, trials and seasons, God appoints them all. With God in the middle of our marriage and living by our vows...this new assignment was of God. It was a gift. And His will for us must always be put first.
Randy had always stood by me with unconditional love. And it was time for me to stand by him and be at his side. As we left the doctors office I knew, once again, that this was God's assignment for me now. To be led by His Spirit and trusting Him - without any borders. God had carried us through many years and He would continue. Our life of faith is walked not seeing but trusting. Whatever God had for me to do going forward, for Randy, for our marriage I knew I must continue to do those next things as God spirit would lead. His diagnosis that day was so very difficult. But this assignment from God meant I needed Him more than I ever had.
Many people couldn't imagine as to how difficult it was to have our world stop, to face a serious illness, to walk in a 'new normal'.. to embrace so much change in such a short time. Our life hadn't stopped, it was still moving fast, but on a different path as our focus was in coming by Randy's side however that meant. And to keep Jesus first. Our family now coming alongside the one who was always there for us. Ministry on hold as gaps were being filled in all areas of our lives. God was still working. Working in the deepest places, in the hearts of all who knew him. It was very difficult as September 11th 2017 changed our world, however, he knew, we knew, this too was our assignment from God.
God cleared our schedules in all that we had before us, to allow us to walk through this time together as husband and wife, stronger than ever. To not look back, and to only hope in the future....and to live fully one day at a time... All I had to know was God’s assignment for me now, and that my first assignment from God had never changed, I was to be Randy's wife.
It is so important to have God's Word and be reminded of the blue prints He has given us to live by. To understand our priorities. In my marriage it always helped me as a wife to remember how God brought Eve to Adam. I smile as I think how God brought me to my husband. To help him and to come by his side. The one thing Randy had asked of me often through this last year and especially when he seen my mind running in many directions, was to come and sit by his side. Those were always his words to me. It always meant the most to him, in sickness and in health. I know that this is the heart of God. Another powerful glimpse into the God given beauty and influence of a wife, to know we have in our disposal the very things they need the most. When my priorities began turning upside down, he knew. He often asked when I was in the Word last.
When all of life seems upside down, and all else seems to be failing, when uncertainties come crashing into our very certain and 'seemingly' perfect world....how important it is to remember who we are in Christ and who we are first to one another. That cannot ever change. And that never changed for us.
In accepting our new assignment from God, God spoke to me of our service to Him in the waiting. We knew as we trusted God, He trusted us. We knew that nothing is in vain with God and that there would be fruit because this too was Gods assignment for us. The fruit of the worlds greatest sorrow brought the worlds greatest blessing - redemption. How our souls each day cried out to God as we waited on Him "for the quickening of His Word" to strengthen our hearts. How it was a privilege for me know God was using me to minister to my husband as only I could and this meant my relationship with God had to grow stronger yet.
To love him, prepare for him and pray for him. To allow my assignment as a wife to strengthen his arms. He always knew the great influence a wife has on her husband and the peace she brings to him when she is still in spirit. He treasured this and he was very sensitive to the Holy Spirit - always asking me "Michelle, is your joy complete in the Lord" - these words I treasured, always what I needed to hear...he always asked me this throughout our marriage - through trials, setbacks and in victories - and even more so through this past year.
God can transform our God given assignments into something priceless and eternal. Just think of all the men and women of God in the Bible...and how God worked in their lives against all odds. Yet, how too, is Gods assignments for us today are no different.
How valuable are our roles as husbands and wives. In a culture today where people prize their individual freedoms above all else, their rights, their opinions, their man made philosophies and man made traditions....how we have lost the understanding of Gods opinion - the simple Truth of marriage - a man to love his wife and a wife to come by his side.
We can fill our schedules with so many things, and many 'good things', as I have been know to do but our greatest work and gift we can give our families is the work within the walls of our homes. Our homes to be 'decorated' in great peace and overflowing in the love of Christ. Often its hard and it requires consistency, commitment and dedication. How we need to guard our hearts from chasing the worlds definitions on what success means and its fulfillment only to leave the relationships within our homes broken and not what God intended. He intended blessings. We are left empty and unfulfilled because of our priorities spiraling out of control and true fulfillment is not found because it is only found through the roles He has given us.
I relied on God to give me the strength to meet Randy's needs with all that was within me, and how I Ioved caring for him and serving him. It was an honor. His love for all and his confidence in God, his joyful spirit, and great resilience in the face of adversity led us each day living as we always had. Some of the last words I remember him saying to me was "You are so good to me" and honestly I could only think of how he was the one so good to me - In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it speaks of this value in our relationships and we see this Word being so true in the relationship of a husband and wife. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If one falls, the other can lift him up" This is great value as they assist each other and encourage each other, so closely joined together in the love of Christ - in this relationship designed and assigned by God "though one may be overpowered.....this threefold cord cannot be broken". Ecc 4:12 . I bear witness to this as testify of this unity that takes place as you grow in the Lord and in your relationship with one another.
My assignment from God, 38 years ago, was blessed as I came to learn of my God given role...to cherish my role as a wife...as God cherished it. The Bible says, "that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD" - we are Gods favor to them. Proverbs 18:22 says, "A wife of noble character is her husbands crown" Proverbs 12:4 - we are our husbands crown. This is our High calling.
My assignment from God was to care for my husband "all the days of his life" and I was committed to loving him “till death do us part.” To accept our assignments we must offer up all that we are - to be His today and forever.
I've learned that God does not make mistakes and in all things He appoints and purposes, and He performs. I was to accept whatever assignment the Lord gave me. This was His assignment. To not try to seek understanding but keep to my only responsibility - to be a wife and to trust and obey Him. Not to think of "What if's" or "Why me?", which were never a part of Randy's vocabulary and this he taught me. As we accept our assignments we are then given peace because we are in His will and we experience His presence. We loose our joy and peace when we refuse. Through our suffering we continue on...and in each assignment..it is not our business to receive only what "we want" but to accept what God gives and allow it to be used as a showcase to display His grace.
Our marriages simply speak to testify of Gods unconditional and sacrificial love we have to give each other. If you are single reading this today, this too applies to you as I trust you are growing and waiting on the Lord and know that you are married to the Lord and you are His Bride.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have not turns aside. I have not departed form the commandment of His lips. I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. But He is unique and who can make Him change? And whatever His soul desires, that He does. For He performs what is appointed for me"
Job 23:10-14
Michelle A. Guerra
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